Totally Unrelated: (Re)Discovering My Inner Girly Girl

Saucy San Francisco Scarf: Check!

I've been lusting after a scarf like this for months. The San Francisco Cool Kids sport them all year round. They wear them so nonchalantly, so...blase-ly and unconcerned-ly. Their knots are intricate and well-practiced. And, admittedly, these scarves are pretty much the perfect accessory for the unpredictable San Francisco weather. They're neither as thick or enveloping as a pashmina nor as skimpy as a Parisian neck-kerchief. They keep your temperature regulated and keep you looking très cool. (P.S. Spell-check wants to auto-correct "pashmina" to "pastrami." Which is kinda ok with me.)

My point here is that I've been wanting one of these saucy scarves for quite a while. But I have this little problem with...well...girly-ness. Somewhere between hanging out with the theater techies in high school and going to a very-feminist all-women college, I decided that being girly was the equivalent of being silly.

For a while there, I shaved my head (but not my armpits), wore sports bras instead of real bras (ok, I still do that sometimes), and collected dirty jokes like they were going out of style (with which to shock my more delicately constitutioned women companions and impress my more raunchy male companions, of course). I also firmly suppressed my very real desire for high heeled shoes, sparkly jewelry, and pink martinis.

At some point, I woke up and realized that this was not who I really was. Really, like most women, I'm somewhere in the middle. But after years of constantly shoving that Inner Girly Girl in the back closet, you might be surprised at how hard it is to let her out again. It surprised me. I find that I have to really work at it.

I stood there next to the display of saucy San Francisco scarves for a good ten minutes. My pal and fellow Kitchn writer Leela dutifully commented on each scarf I held up to my face, comparing color with skin tone, texture with softness, and generally coaching me into buying one.

It was a big moment for my Inner Girly Girl. Maybe next time I'll wear heels.